The Oldest One and the Heir To The Throne are heading out for a visit at the end of the week. It’ll be great to see them, I think I’m looking forward to the visit as much as they are. That got me thinking about family in general and mine in particular. And, it reminded me of something I’ve been meaning to do here for a couple months as well as to share an achievement I recently accomplished. But, more importantly, to tell you why I did it…
One of the proudest moments of my life came 25 or so years ago, when my then (to me they still are, fwiw) brother-in-law and sister-in-law, Randy and Dawn, asked me to be the godfather of their newborn daughter. Randy, brother of my original ex, and I always got along great. Same thing with Dawn. If I remember correctly, and good God it was so long ago, they started dating just before the OE and I met so I’ve only ever known them as a couple even after all these years. Still, the fact that they thought so much of me as to ask me to be such an important part of Amanda’s life was an honor I didn’t take lightly.
Over the years, even after the OE and split, I tried to at least reach out to Amanda on her birthday. There was a long time where I didn’t see those guys, yet, I always felt like they were a part of my family. I mean, we all know sometimes family is separated by miles or what have you. Often times, today especially, family can get separated by belief systems. We all have that uncle, cousin or brother-in-law that is not only our polar opposite in beliefs, but insists on pointing out the error of our ways at every. family. gathering.
“Gosh thanks for explaining to me how much you hate ‘candidate A’ Uncle Wilbur. Now I can see why voting for ‘candidate B’ makes sense to you. I just didn’t realize you were so passionate about Fascism before. Now can you please pass the mashed potatoes and shut the hell up you Nazi.”
As I flash forward from the warm, fuzzy moments of becoming a godfather I’d like to stop by this past summer when I went to a family cookout at Randy and Dawn’s house. It was a great time; we reminisced about the old days, marveled at how, despite the passing of years, none of us had aged (bold-faced lie). But one of my favorite parts was getting to see Amanda and to meet her sweetie pie, Korey. I actually might have met him in passing at a family funeral, but those things aren’t really conducive to getting to know someone, so… I was pleased to come to the conclusion that Korey is a pretty stand up guy. They’ve been dating for quite some time now and when you’re that age and in a long-term, committed relationship, well the conclusion is going to get jumped to, whether you realize it or not. Sure enough, they’re engaged and have a date set for October of next year. I’m thrilled for them both, especially seeing Amanda so happy.
So, when I got something in the mail from the two of them shortly before I moved out here, I didn’t think too much of it. “Save The Date” cards are quite the thing now, and my assumption was that I’d gotten mine. But when I opened it, in addition to the expected card, there was a hand-written note from Amanda. I didn’t have the foresight to pull it out when I sat down here so I’ll paraphrase it.
She spoke of her memories of me as she grew up; from the “Veterinarian Barbie set” at age 5 to the “annual birthday text” exchanges we share since she’s become an adult. Whether she knew it or not, Amanda has always had a special place in my heart and she burrowed securely into the middle of that sucker with her note. And then she slammed the door behind her with the end of her note when she asked if I would consider being the officiant at their wedding.
I’m not gonna lie, tears were streaming down my face as I read it.
Now, a few things were going through my head as soon as I processed the words.
A.) Of course I’ll do it, it would be my great honor
B.) I don’t have to be a priest, right? Cause that ship has sailed…
C.) How long does it take to become an ordained minister?
I kind of put this on the back burner when I moved, figuring I had about a year to do whatever I needed to do. And, when Amanda and I spoke about this a few days after I got the letter she suggested an online program that she knew was both legal in Illinois and fairly easy to obtain. After being out here for a few weeks, I decided to look into the website she’d suggested. I read up on it a little, saw some of the people that had become ordained and the history of the faith and moved forward on it.
I filled out the registration form; name, address, where I would be using my new-found title, clicked “SUBMIT” and Voilà!
I became a minister in the Universal Life Church.
Now, if you know me IRL, you know I tend toward the irreverent, probably not a typical behavior for, you know, a reverend. In fact, when I spoke with the Great Vincenzo and mentioned it to him I’m fairly certain I dropped an eff bomb in the title somewhere. And when asked how I should be addressed, my first thought was something along the lines of “The Right Reverend”. It has a nice ring to it. To be honest, at this point in my life, I’m not a huge fan of organized religion. I think I’d probably describe myself as spiritual rather than religious. But the truth of the matter is, I take this very seriously. At least as far as the wedding is concerned. I’ve already started working on what I want to say. To be such a big part of such an important event in the lives of these two isn’t something I take for granted and I want the words to be honest and open and real. I want them to understand how precious love is. And how it’s never to be taken for granted.
And how I’m not the role model they want to follow. Three strikes and you’re out, right?
Just sayin.
Peace