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In Which I Recount More Of My Tech Savviness*

Well, I think that title pretty much says it all doesn’t it? I mean, not everything or else there’d be no point in typing any further (settle down Ray) than the title. So allow me to fill in some more tech-related details. Shout out to a faithful reader (and also a family member) (it just occurred to me the Venn Diagram of readers and family members would probably have a steep overlap) (c’est la vie) for pointing out in the comments that I neglected to share the conclusion of my back door lock issue. What was I thinking?

Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. (Sorry, it’s hard to pass up on the opportunity to drop in a Princess Bride reference.) When we left this topic, our intrepid writer (me) had a semi functional electronic back door lock. I was able to add in a few codes manually to lock and unlock the door, but wasn’t able to connect the lock to my home wifi network. This caused much consternation, and more bad language than I’d care to admit to using. Of course losing my shit also did nothing to expedite the problem, so I did my best to just let it be and wait for tech support to call me back. Patience, however, is rarely my strong suit so I was pleased that I was able to, more or less, not fiddle around with the lock on a daily basis.

The phone call from Schlage Tech Support came in a couple minutes after the scheduled time but still well within the expected window, and, as I expected, the issue was operator (me again) error. Nick, the tech, was remarkably patient with me, even when I made a full bodied effort to eff things up again by repeating the error I had been making all along. So thanks for that Nick! I think we were on the phone for a grand total of about 15 minutes and we had a fully functional back door lock once again! Yaaay technology!

Let’s see, what else do we have that’s tech-related that I can ramble on about for a few hundred words… Oh yeah, there’s this – Around the time I stopped actively doing this, although unrelated to it iirc, my laptop was starting to show signs of its age. I bought it, a MacBook Air, around 2014, and had been very happy with its performance from day 1. Over the last couple years I noticed it seemed a tad slow, not terribly, but enough that it was noticeable. Then it reached the point in its life cycle where Apple stopped issuing updates for it. A few apps stopped responding the way they had before, but I was usually able to figure out a workaround and keep getting results as I was accustomed to getting. I thought at the time about replacing it with a newer model, but decided against it because I also thought about how much less I was writing than I had been and was able to talk myself out of spending the money. And using it less and less frequently over the last couple years seemed to support my theory.

At least until a few weeks ago, when I had one of the aforementioned random ideas about a potential topic pop into my head. It was followed by a thought along the lines of “Geez maybe if I get a new laptop it’ll encourage me to put these thoughts down on “paper” and start posting again. The more I thought about it, the more I started to convince myself of the logic in that point of view.

Until, lo and behold, I found myself at the Apple Store. Where I met a lovely Apple person by the name of Oscar (or maybe Oskar, idk, I didn’t think to ask him how he spells it) who helped me narrow down which model I wanted/needed. Although I pretty much knew what I wanted going in, a little bigger, a little faster than what I was used to, but not top of the line. Anyway, here I am, typing away on my new MacBook Air, happy as a clam. Oscar, if you read this, you’re the best. And I owe you an apology, I should’ve asked where I could catch your act. As it turns out, Oscar is a stand up comic. That came up when he was asking me what I would use this baby to do. I told him about the blog and he asked for the address, then confirmed it after he pulled it up on his phone. And yes, I’d (we’d) love to come catch a gig so let me know. Or if I get back up to the store for something I’ll flag you down and ask.

I have to give kudos to Apple for the way they do stuff. Granted, I’m a long time user because I like the products, but I’ve never had a bad experience at one of their stores. And the Air purchase was just one example.

Here’s another one. B2 and I just got new phones. Not brand brand new, but last year’s model. Which actually brings me to a point I don’t like about Apple. They changed connectors from Lightning to USB-C. Now, that may seem a little like gobbledygook, but it refers to the end of the charging cable. I could go into greater detail about this, but I don’t really feel like it right now so… At any rate, due to that change, I needed a new cable. I had a cable at home to plug my phone into the car (I use Apple CarPlay while driving) however, it was a cheap version from some random device I had gotten at some unknown point in the last few years. So while it charged my phone in the car, it wouldn’t allow for the CarPlay hook up to occur. I chose yesterday, you know, 2 days after the release of the new version of the iPhone, as the day to go to the Apple Store to buy my cable. I noticed my lack of judgement when I pulled into the parking lot and had to park about 3 rows farther back than normal. And, as I walked up to the door the mass of humanity inside was hard to miss. Resolute in my decision to make my purchase, plus refusing to turn around and drive 30 minutes home stewing in the juices of my defeat, I joined the shopping fray. An employee asked me what I was looking to get and pointed me in the direction of the charging cords. It took me a couple minutes to find exactly what I needed (USB-A to USB-C) but, once I had one in my grubby little paws I saw a thing, kind of like a QR Code but different, on the shelf that said “scan to pay”. So I did. And I did. Scanned and then paid, I mean. And it was stupidly easy. Like I was convinced I did something wrong, easy. Like, how did they know I actually paid for it and how did they know I had the product I said I did? I kept the app open so I could show it to any employee that might question what the heck I was doing just walking out of the store like I owned the place with that charging cord in my hand. But no one even glanced my way. Mind boggled.

I think that just about brings us up to date on my tech (mis)adventures. I could probably rattle on a little about the phone shopping experience, but I think I’m good for today. I’m starting to get a little bleary eyed, I can’t imagine how you, gentle reader, are feeling.

Peace

PS- I spent a couple hours yesterday morning, thanks to the interwebz, listening to a Chicago treasure, Terri Hemmert, on Breakfast with the Beatles and as a result have had early Fab Four bouncing between my ears as this gets formed. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it too. I’ve always been able to avoid singing along (off key and loudly) to whatever I listen to while writing, but one of these days I fear I’ll slip up. Of course it would be something else to write about so…

Again, Peace

*Savviness may or may not be an actual word. Consult your local thesaurus for clarity. Or lack of same.

PSS or maybe PPS I don’t remember- Since I’m nothing if not a public servant, I feel I need to warn you that when looking for an image to add to this post I GTS’d “techno boob” and I want to tell you friends, never GTS “techno boobs”. Yikes.

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Southernisms Episode III – A New Mope

Ok, for starters, and to get out in front of any Star Wars nerds that might be reading, I know I mixed metaphors in the title. But I couldn’t make anything witty out of Revenge of the Sith, whereas A New Hope seemed to fit my style. You don’t like it, write your own damn blog.

Now on to today’s literary potpourri. One of the things that B2 and I do throughout the spring and fall is go to baseball games. Specifically the games played by the 11 year old twin grandsons. They play on a local travel team (which as I write feels like an oxymoron, but it’s accurate. The team is local and they play travel ball). Moving right along. For the most part the games are within a 90 minute drive and usually within 45 so it’s not too demanding on us, no overnights, etc. They’re both good ballplayers and they really enjoy the game. That enthusiasm makes it so much easier to invest our time in their efforts. Geez that sounds harsh. We love the boys and we love baseball, how’s that? It’s a great way to spend time each week. All that to say I noticed something at the games this past weekend that got me thinking. If you’ve spent any amount of time here, or if you know me IRL, you probably just shuddered. It’s ok, you should be used to that by now.

Due to idk what, somebody on the team had to miss the weekend. Maybe it was an illness, maybe a prior family commitment, maybe the soon-to-be-mentioned kid happened to be available. All I know is the boys’ team had a “guest” player last weekend. If you’re unfamiliar with travel baseball, this is apparently kinda common, down here at least. Their team has had guest players before and I know of at least one occasion when the boys both guested on another team. At any rate, the guest player’s name was Ty. Nothing unusual about that, right? Many of you may know a Ty. Some of you may even be a Ty. It’s, well, I wouldn’t call it ubiquitous, but yeah, it’s a common name nowadays.

But this was what caught my ear and sent me spiraling down a bit of a rabbit hole. The name Ty, in the southern dialect, is pronounced Tah. Which, by logical conclusion leads me to believe that tie dye is, of course, pronounced TAH DAH (all caps to encourage your brain to read that with the appropriate sound of fanfare). Now, to be faaiir, I haven’t tested this hypothesis with my local (very local) native southern speaker, but I’m pretty confident I’m right on the money here.

Ok, here’s a brief editorial comment. Apparently I need to apologize for at least one and possibly two things here… A quick look at the top of this gem will show I chose Episode 3 for part of the title. I did that because in thinking I had written about Southernisms before I wanted to check back to confirm my thoughts. I quickly found a post titled Southernisms – The Sequel from a few years ago. Now, if you’re like me, seeing the word “sequel” in that title would lead you to assume that a prior edition of Southernisms existed. You, like me, would be wrong. Because I just spent 20 minutes looking for the original Southernisms post without success. So I’m sorry I don’t know how to count and you’re welcome for not having to fight the urge to look up the nonexistent original. Also I’ve already forgotten the other thing I may have wanted to apologize for, which leads me to my next entry on the topic of Southernisms. After all this confusion I’mma throw a duck fit.

Yes, you read that right. Duck fit. It’s a polite way to say lose your shit. Don’t bother asking, Idk the origin. It occurs to me I should really have B2 here next to me when I write about things like this, so I’ve got a quick reference handy. Although I’m not sure she knows the origin either. If I find out before I hit “Publish” I’ll let you know. Don’t hold your breath.

Lastly, at least until I compile some more (which will also probably be mis-titled)(just sayin) distinctly southern expressions, I’ll drop this one on you. What do you call the headwear, typically worn in the winter? You know the one; knit, usually snug fitting, possibly with a fluffy ball on top. Canadians call it a toque, but I’ve known it as a stocking cap, or a beanie. Here in this part of the country they are known as toboggans. I know, I know. I asked the same thing. They call them sleds. Even when they’re toboggans. Not the hat the sled. I hope you followed that one, I think lost myself. In summary- if you wear it on your head it’s a toboggan. If your butt sits on it as you slide down a snow covered slope, it’s a sled.

Lastly Lastly as I hammered away at this one I listened to some early Bob Dylan. I read a long form article on Dylan’s early days this morning on Mojo. I have to admit although I knew a lot of his early (ie early 60’s) work, I didn’t know a lot more of it. B2 and I went and saw A Complete Unknown in the theater last winter, shortly after it came out. I couldn’t tell you the last movie I saw in the theater, it had been quite some time prior to that. But we were both blown away by the film. It’s available now on Hulu if that’s an option for you. I highly recommend the movie. Unless you’re trying to write something at least theoretically humorous. If you don’t know Dylan’s songs from that era they were mostly either political or dark and sometimes both. Maybe I should go back to just listening to instrumentals while writing.

Peace

PS- because, well, you know… B2 wasn’t sure of the origin of “duck fit” she thought it might be a family thing. So of course I had to fire up the Google Machine because my curiosity got the best of me. And because I care about your education dear reader, here is the definition/origin of duck fit according to Wiktionary, which I’m sure is a highly reputable resource and clearly highly citable. You’re welcome.

Again,

Peace

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Back In The Saddle Again

Before I dive any further into any of this mess, Imma place this right here and, as always, apologies if you have to click through an ad. In addition to the title being apropos, there’s something about the exuberance of the song, at least once they get past the intro, that is (happily) a parallel with my mood towards getting back behind (in front of?) the keyboard.

There, I said it, I’m returning to ICRTDs. Truth be told I’ve never left, but I sure as heck haven’t produced anything in really long time. Some (Hi Ray) would say never, but that’s a story for somebody else’s blog. Idk if there’s any real reason I haven’t written anything for the last almost three(!) years. Other than I just didn’t. I still had ideas. I can’t tell you how many times something would happen and I’d think “geez I should write about that.” or random ideas would pop into my head at random times and instead of making a note to myself to flesh it out a little more, I’d let it wither on the proverbial vine.

It’s actually not accurate to say I haven’t written at all, I still kick out the biannual (biennial? idk and I don’t care enough right now to confirm) article for the Illinois Retired Fireperson (not its real name) magazine. Which is now an E-zine. I think. Idk if that’s a thing or not, but I’m on a roll right now so… Yeah, I’ve done two of those articles a year at 500 words a pop, which is actually harder than writing these gems. Typically I’ll toss out 1000+ words into one of these word salads, with minimal editing other than you know triple checking spelling and maybe a once over for a grammar faux pas along the way.

It’s not like I didn’t miss doing this either, I did. Just not enough to grab myself and haul my behind to a local (or local ish) coffeehouse with my trusty keyboard. Or to sit at the desk at home to create, well, anything. I don’t know that I can put a finger on what triggered this renewed interest in writing, but I’m not going to question the Muse. Let’s just go with it, shall we?

So, here’s a thing. I like to consider myself fairly tech savvy for an old timer. I mean, I know my limitations, but by and large, I can keep myself out of trouble when it comes to modern technology. Until recently. A couple, three months ago, I bought an electronic lock, a Schlage Encode, for the back door at La Casa Mains. The installation was a tad cumbersome, but I was able to do a workaround, and the lock worked flawlessly for us. Until late last month when the whole thing came to a screeching halt. What I thought was a prematurely dead battery turned out to be something else. The interwebz provided no real answer either so I reached out to Schlage, which in itself turned out to be ridiculously cumbersome as well. Poor #LillyNo heard so many bad words, none directed at her, of course, but she was not at all happy that I was so fired up. Of course Schlage’s customer service was closed on weekends, because apparently no one needs to lock their house other than Monday through Friday, so I scheduled a call back appointment for 5 days later. That was the first available slot. The morning of, I got an email to, very helpfully I might add, put the CS number into my phone so the call didn’t bounce to voicemail. The call came in, right on time, I answered, and heard nothing. Dead air. For about 10 seconds until the call dropped. As you may imagine, I was not pleased. Go ahead, imagine yourself silly, I’ll wait. The technician called back pretty quickly, the call was successful this time and she apologized for an error on her part. We started walking through the lock and got about two steps in when the problem surfaced. We tried a couple things to no avail, and she said she’d send out a replacement lock. I saw that as a win. When the replacement lock came out 4-5 days later I took that as another good sign. Then I tried to install the new lock.

Picture, if you will, Mount Vesuvius, or really any volcano, erupting and you’ll have a pretty fair idea of how the remainder of my replacement lock installation went. This time I was able to get as far as connecting to my home wifi network, which the lock has, to the moment I’m writing this, yet to find. Idk if it’s using both hands, but it can’t find it. That prompted another scheduling with Schlage CS, this time 8 days out. And yeah, that didn’t help my mood any either. I was able to enter some codes manually, so we can at least lock the door, but we’re nowhere near the full functionality of the lock, and they’re not cheap so I really feel like we deserve what we paid for the product. The next edition of “How do I make my new lock work” takes place tomorrow morning so send good thoughts and keep your fingers crossed for whatever sanity I have left.

But wait! There’s more!

We lost power the other night when a thunderstorm rolled through around 2:00 in the morning. It was restored before we got up so if it hadn’t been for the texts on my phone from the power company, and the clocks displaying the wrong time I would have never known. That evening I sat down to watch some tv, nothing in particular, I mean, right here, right now idk what I was going to watch. So nothing vital. But when I turned on the tv, the speakers wouldn’t connect. I said to myself “Self” I said “This isn’t right.” and it wasn’t. This is not a common occurrence in our house, and if it does happen, it’s usually about a 15 second long fix and we’re good to go. But on this particular night, not only did the typical fix not work, the tv sets, yes, all three of them, couldn’t find the speakers. Not. a. single. one. I was, shall we say, displeased. Because, if you recall (I know you can, I just wrote about it) my lock issues were running concurrently to this new tech problem. Poor #LillyNo was also not happy, as my language took an expected turn to the gutter. So as I’m running through the various potential fixes I could think of; restarting/resetting the speakers, restarting the wifi, restarting, well, anything that might remotely be connected to the issue, I noticed something. The speakers were connected to the wrong wifi network. Maybe it was related to losing power, idk, that seems logical, but it never happened before. Anyway, I had no clue how to get them back on the correct wifi network so I went back to the interwebz. And found all kinds of things that didn’t relate to my problem.

And then, I found an app for Apple Support.

Friends let me tell you that installing and working through this app was the single most pleasant customer service experience I’ve had in a really, really long time. I sent in my question and was redirected to iMessage where a text from Apple Support was waiting for me. It was a tad awkward at first, and tbh it was probably some type of bot or AI that I was interacting with, but after a very few minutes my problem was solved by unplugging the speakers, plugging them in to my computer and updating/restarting them. So I spent maybe 15 minutes on three of the four speakers, the other one, idk how, reconnected to the proper wifi network on its own, and I once again had tv’s and speakers that worked as I expected them to work.

As I prepare to close this Pulitzer-worthy nugget out, I really hope you’ll be able to read it. By that I mean, it’s been so long I’m not convinced I know how to successfully post anymore, I guess we’ll find out together. Also, I don’t have much (read none) of a social media presence anymore, so I’m not sure how to get this out to the masses and I use that term loosely. But I’m game if you are.

Lastly ish. Despite the reference way up top, I haven’t been listening to Aerosmith as I write this today. Nothing against the band at all, 16 year old me loved the album Toys In The Attic, but old me generally spends more time listening to other things. Today’s playlist has been one I created a few years ago titled I Have No Words and it’s all (hence the name) instrumentals. Jethro Tull, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Jeff Beck, some Irish reels and the like, Santana, The Allman Brothers, Roy Clark, Mason Williams, Link Wray, The Pogues, and many more. I remember reading somewhere that listening to words, whether songs or podcasts, or what have you, while trying to write was not helpful. So I thought I’d give this a shot. Honestly I have no idea if it worked or not, how do you quantify something like that, you know? At any rate, that’s all I’ve got for you today

As always, Peace.

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It’s Great To Be Alive

I’m listening to XRT this morning.

I haven’t done that for years. Not a slight to “Chicago’s Finest Rock” either, I switched to satellite radio a while back for my main listening and from there, a few years ago I started listening mostly to streamed music. Mainly since it gave me (within reason) full control over what, and who, (whom?) I listened to. Admittedly, I missed XRT, but not enough to go out of my way to listen to it. I think maybe I missed the on-air talent as much as anything, although I can’t go any further without acknowledging that a very large part of my current tastes in music was developed, nurtured, and curated, by WXRT. I don’t remember exactly when I started listening, but my best guess is somewhere around 1976 or 1977, so people like Garry Lee Wright, Johnny Mars, Bobby Skafish, Tom Marker, Frank E. Lee, geez there’s so many more. Of course no list of XRT DJ’s would be complete without the inimitable Terri Hemmert, everyone’s favorite Aunt Terri. So many different voices helping to form my taste in music.

But today’s post isn’t about them. It’s only superficially about me. Rather, today I want to write about your best friend in the whole world, at least if you listened to WXRT any time over the last 30+ years. Lin Brehmer. Lin passed away yesterday, prostate cancer taking him far too soon.

In the 24 or so hours since I got the text from Ryan alerting me to Lin’s passing I’ve spent a lot of time reading tributes to Lin, so many beautiful, heartfelt words from those that knew him, knew him as more than a voice on the radio, but as a friend, coworker, or mentor. They are far more qualified to express their thoughts and process their emotions on the man than I am. I don’t say that to diminish my feelings, only to contextualize what I’m trying to say. A voice on the radio is the only way I knew Lin, and, theoretically at least, I shouldn’t feel his passing as much as I do given the nature of our “relationship”. After all, he was “only” one of the voices accompanying me down life’s highway, literally and figuratively, for many years.

I feel like I have so much more to say here, but instead I’m going to do two things- I’ve mentioned here before that I sometimes feel wholly inadequate as a writer when I listen to lyrics by songwriters I admire, Lin, through his 20 year long segment “Lin’s Bin” wherein he would answer readers emails, as well as in many other ways, was incredibly gifted with words. So I want to add a postscript in the form of one of his beautifully eloquent answers. Here, from the XRT Facebook page, are Lin’s own words. I’m gutted.

Is it still great to be alive?

What is my inheritance? What have my ancestors left for me? They have left those voices in the dark that ask questions, my own voices in the middle of the night when the mind spins slightly off its axis and wobbles like a spinning top about to roll over on its side. 
Is it still great to be alive? A delicate question subject to the eloquence of the ages.

“For in that sleep of death what dreams may come. When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there’s the respect that makes calamity of so long a life.”

And yet we can say it out loud. 

It’s great to be alive.

Affirmation is so much easier in a convertible with the top down.
Celebration comes naturally in the robustness of our younger years.
Optimism is a dish best served with extra appetizers to share.
Great to be alive.

How does this phrase sound to the people living on the fringes?
Living on the street. People who survive against all odds.
What is so great about alive?

Is it still great to be alive?
This question stirs the guilt we feel when we attempt to rejoice among the ruins of civilization.
So better to joke about it.
Better to sing about it.

For the thoughtful, this is an awkward question.
Some have said that It’s great to be alive is not something they would ordinarily say.
Me either. But these are not ordinary times. And they never were.

Are we shaken from our brighter purpose by the unspooling tragedies that start as a ten word tweet and grow into a news story with full team coverage and a regenerating youtube video? Sadness that proliferates like the head of the Hydra.
These events that amplify our own misery and doubt.

When the noted social critic Frank Zappa stood on a stage to announce that it is great to be alive, it might have seemed sarcastic. 

“It’s so f$%&*g great to be alive is what the theme of our show is tonight, boys and girls. And I want to tell you, if there is anybody here who doesn’t believe that it is f$%&*g great to be alive, I wish they would go now because this show will bring them down so much.”

Life is so much clearer with a guitar in your arms.
But the truly cynical observer will remind us that it is always more poetic to reject life when you’re not fighting for your own. If it’s only pretty good to be alive, we should wonder at the young and the old who struggle to breathe.

Some of us are tempted to give up. Instinct is strong but not unshakeable.

In the absence of certitude, we make choices. I’ve made mine.
Is it still great to be alive?
Actually, no.

It’s f$%&*g great to be alive.

That last line was one of the taglines Lin will leave with us.

I’m going to leave this for now but, before I go, I want to encourage you to tune in to WXRT 93.1 FM if you’re in the Chicago area, if you’re like me and somewhere else in the world, you can stream that at, for example the Audacy app or likely any number of other streaming options. Regadless how you do it, you should listen in as the station pays tribute to one of the good ones.

Rest In Peace Lin. From one of your many best friends in the whole world.

Peace

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Why Modern Radio is A-OK

I suppose this is, to paraphrase the immortal Harry Doyle juuuust a bit behind. I wrote a couple months ago that I would be taping a segment to be played on a local radio station at a later date. Well, that date came and went. It aired on July 1st, something I didn’t find out until a couple weeks later, but regardless, it happened. I had thought it might be nice to put up a post with a link to the radio station in case anyone wanted to listen as it aired, sigh, and with that now an impossibility, I’m left with a couple options for those interested. As it turned out, B2 videoed my bit the night it was recorded, so I could put that up. Or, I could send you to the page on the website of the production company that recorded, edited, and got it radio-ready. As I type these words I haven’t decided which way I’ll go, so I guess we’ll find out together.

There are some differences between the two; despite my best efforts, my stories (well one of them anyway) weren’t “radio friendly” since it got lopped off completely. Kind of a shame too, that one got a great response from the crowd that night. But I guess I get it. Apparently you can’t say genitalia on the radio in the Bible Belt. Maybe anywhere else idk. I mean, I know George Carlin’s famous bit about the seven words you can’t say on the air (it’s a classic btw and if you’re unfamiliar I suggest you GTS) but genitalia wasn’t on his list so… Another difference is that, since the production company, you know, produces things, their version sounds a lot cleaner than the one B2 recorded. By that I mean it sounds like it was professionally recorded whereas our version sounds like it was recorded on somebody’s cellphone, which, oddly enough, is exactly how it was recorded.

So, you know, pros and cons for each. I suppose as far as that goes I could link to each of them and leave it up to you, gentle reader, to decide which one you prefer. Let me ponder all this for a bit as I meander across the keyboard.

The experience of doing the radio show was pretty excellent, I must say. But I already did kind of a recap of the evening, so I’ll just leave it at that and move along. Funny thing about that too. I was a couple hundred words farther along than I am here when I started to realize how familiar the things I was typing sounded. I scrolled through my last couple posts and there it was, this post covering the evening from the perspective of the next morning. *eyeroll* *facepalm* #reallygladicaughtthatbeforeitposted

Moving right along…

I’m not sure why I came to today’s musical selection but I’m listening to the Drive By Truckers this morning. In particular the Friday night show from 2019’s HeAthens Homecoming, a show which I happened to attend. They just came through our area recently, but we were unable to make the show. I can’t wait for them to come back around, they are firmly on the medal stand of my favorite bands, and just incredible live. Speaking of live music, I felt like I needed to name this with another radio-centric title and as I thought about which song to choose, this one popped into my head. It’s a long time fav of mine and I haven’t listened to it in a while. Apologies in advance if the ads get in the way.

I guess I’ve put off the inevitable long enough. Here’s the link to the video B2 shot and it’s age restricted due to subject matter, which is maybe why it got axed off the air, lol. This link will take you to the professionally recorded version that aired locally on July 1st. So check them out if/when you get the chance, and, as always, I appreciate any and all comments. Even those from you, Ray.

Peace

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Bugs, etm

So, I’ve been intermittently thinking of a place to use the above “new” abbreviation for a little bit now and I decided this was as good a way to do it as any. I stumbled across it a few weeks ago on social media (one of the few things it’s still good for is finding things that make me laugh) and my first thought was “well, this is probably not a real thing.” because,you know, internet. Followed quickly by “I don’t care, I love it and I’m going to incorporate it into something as often as I can.” which brings me back to this. According to the post; etm is a Latin abbreviation, similar to etc, et al, and the like. It is an abbreviation of et merda which, the internet tells me to believe, means “and shit” as, for example, etc which is the abbreviation of et cetera, translates to “and so forth” and now that I have expanded all of your vocabularies by a little bit I feel like I can move on. I’m nothing if not helpful, right?

To the title, well I’ve been slacking lately on my “WTF is that?!?!” posts. Mainly because the bug life I’ve encountered, while varied, and often new to me, has rarely been alarming. It took me a little longer than I expected to find this particular post due to it being almost four years ago, as well as me stopping to peruse a few old posts because, why not, but I wanted that post in particular because it was one that I knew featured an excellent example of “WTF IS THAT?!?!”

If you haven’t figured out yet that all of that is leading to this, well, I guess you’re new here. But, also, it’s leading to this because the other day I experienced a new and semi frightening example of WTFIT.

There were a couple reasons my foot is as close as it is to that bug… A.) I wanted something in the frame so you could more easily visualize the size of this behemoth bug. I assure you, that picture is not comparable to, say, a typical fishing trip photo. My foot is about four inches away from the bug. I swear to god that damn thing was at least the size of a golf ball. B.) It was dead.

At least I thought it was dead. As I debated where to kick the corpse, the bug’s legs started churning like a colonial era butter maker. I won’t say I’m afraid of bugs, but we have an understanding; stay out of my personal space and I’ll likely let you go about your ugly business. Mostly. In this particular case, I grabbed a brick and dropped it on the bug from a height of about two feet. This seemed to accomplish what I was going for here, namely killing the bug without leaving a huge buggy mess to clean up. I kicked the bug out into the street, about three kicks on what I guessed to be a par 4 down my driveway and put the brick back in the neighbor’s yard where it belonged. I took one last look at the bug and, much to my surprise, it was still moving, efforting desperately in an attempt to right itself. And probably to hunt down the SOB that dropped a brick on it for all I know. A short time later B2 got home from work, and as I watched her back into the driveway, I saw she rolled over the beast. Taking another status check on the monster I must admit I wasn’t totally surprised to see that, while it wasn’t moving, it also didn’t exactly look any worse for the experience. It wasn’t until about an hour later, when I took one last look, that I could tell some passing vehicle had sufficiently flattened it out of existence. Finally satisfied Bug-hemoth (get it? Behemoth/Bug-hemoth?) had gone to its final destination, I went back about my business.

As long as we’re on this topic, here’s another odd bug I don’t ever remember seeing before. Our carport gets a lot of use as an outdoor sitting area. Since I’ve lived there I’ve enjoyed sitting there, for no real reason other than it’s typically protected from the weather. The exception to that rule is in the warmer months of the year when the afternoon/early evening sun beats down mercilessly on our sitting area. When that happens, we move to a little patio just off the carport that is pretty well shaded.

Excuse the morning light/shadows, I’m never going to be confused with PhojoMamaTM as a photographer, but this should at least give you an idea of our little sanctuary. Sitting out there one afternoon, as B2 and I chatted about our day, I noticed what appeared to be a piece of lint on a leaf of one of the potted plants pictured above. When I realized it was moving purposefully across said leaf, I knew it wasn’t lint. I’m pretty perceptive that way apparently. A quick GTS led us to believe it was some kind of mealybug and again I’d like to point out to you that this is a direct violation of bugs staying away from my shit. They are supposedly harmless to people, but they’ve been consuming my plants like, well, me when confronted with a pastry cart filled with lovely baked goods. And I can’t have that. Either, really. The pastry cart and these fluffy little bastards are both on a parallel track with the destination leaving me shaking my head and muttering obscenities. I asked someone at the local nursery what I could do to rid my plants of these pests and she advised me the best way was to take a cotton ball and wipe the leaves down with rubbing alcohol. Look at the picture again. If you think I’ve got the patience to wipe each #@%**$# leaf with rubbing alcohol, well, you’ve apparently never met me before. That ain’t happening. So, instead, I chose what some may see as sadistic (I however refuse to accept sadism as remotely applicable where bugs are involved. Have you even seen Men In Black?) but I have found to be quite effective in removing these pests. A lighter. The extended version typically used to light candles, etc. The bugs are quickly and efficiently immolated with minimal scarring to the leaves of my plants.

Win/win for me. The bugs? Not so much.

I’ll put a bow on this one by noting Manchester Orchestra is bouncing between my ears today. Man I love that band. Whenever I mention MO, I always feel like I should give a hat tip to my friend Tom for pointing me in their direction. What a great call Tom, thanks again and always. I would certainly place them on the medal stand of my current favorites, along with Drive By Truckers and John Moreland. Additionally, all three bands have got new, or at least newish albums out and all three are stellar. I can’t recommend enough that you catch any of these acts should they be touring in your general area. Not sure if I wrote this bit up or not so I apologize if I’m being redundant, but B2 and I caught a John Moreland show this past spring in Saxapahaw and actually ran into him outside the venue chilling out before the show. We talked for maybe twenty minutes. Just an absolutely lovely human being to chat with. Also one of the best songwriters around.

Peace

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Back To Back, Baby!

That’s right, two days in a row! Don’t expect this to be a regular occurrence btw. But I figured, given yesterday’s post, the least I could do was to pop out an update of some sort.

Last night was a lot of fun for me and I feel comfortable saying it was for everyone involved too. A very supportive crowd of around 50 people, seven local performers/artists/me and I’ll sum it up briefly by saying there are some ridiculously talented people living in this area.

Right off the bat, first performer, Jack, sang three original tunes and accompanied himself on piano. Next up was a local writer, Barbara, who told the story of her car crash from a few years back. That brought up Marquez, again singing and playing the piano on an original piece as well as a cover of “Times They Are A Changin'”. Another writer, Luke, came up and read a bit of crime fiction that was so vivid and descriptive, man he nailed it. After that came two of my favorite people from out here, Luke and Rosemary. B2 works with Luke, so I’ve known him for a little bit and I knew he and Rosemary were musical. We have, from time to time watched their toddler so they could practice, or record, or mix, or whatever they needed to do for an EP they’ve got coming out soon. Anyway, GOOD GOD THEY KILLED IT! Beautiful voices, excellent harmonies, and outstanding picking on two original pieces. Man, I get chills just thinking about how good they were. This brought me to the microphone and, truly, I was pleased with the way it went. I got some laughs, a couple “Awww’s” and I think I even heard a gasp in there at one point. So, all things considered, I couldn’t have asked for a better reception. Rounding out the evening was Lalenja who sang songs from Tuck and Patti, Billie Holiday, and Bessie Smith all a cappella and each one outstanding.

One of the things Jeremy, the Artistic Director/Emcee/Talent Wrangler/prettymuchanythingelseneeded mentioned is that these pieces will be streamed. I looked up the radio station website and there was nothing there about streaming, so I’m not sure how or where it’ll happen, but once I find out the details for that, I’ll pass them on here.

In summary, last night was a total gas. As both an audience member and as a speaker. I really hope this type of thing can become a regular or at least semi-regular part of the community.

Final thing; trying to choose videos for yesterday’s post put me on a definite R.E.M. kick so I’ve had Automatic For The People echoing between my ears (at a reasonable decibel level) (kinda) whilst putting this together. Great album from an excellent band.

Peace

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Radio Sweetheart

This is not only a wonderful song by the equally wonderful Elvis Costello (as they used to say on XRT “if your Elvis is dead, try ours”) it’s also an appropriate title for today. I’ll be reading a couple brief excerpts from my scrawlings this evening in front of a small (50 or so people) group at a taping for a segment on one of the local country music stations.

That might sound like a bigger deal than it really is. I mean, I think it’s pretty cool I was asked and all, but the reality is they’re taping eight 15 minute segments and will air four. So, to me, the chances of my stuff getting any air time tilt toward remote. Not saying I’m not pleased with what I chose for this evening, I went back and forth countless times until I found the right combination of drama and humor while making sure it was “safe” for the radio. In my mind I accomplished that. It was no easy task either, going back through trying to find something with no profanity for instance. Or at least a small enough amount that I could edit it out and not lose context completely. I’m just saying I don’t know how realistic actually getting air time will be.

You may be asking “Geez, how did this come to be? You getting your stuff on the radio? Why you of all people? Have they never read any of your writing?” These are all valid, if possibly harsh, questions. Allow me to give you some background.

A couple months ago I got a text from B2 asking if I would be interested in sharing some of my writing on a radio show taping June 8th. You might say I was intrigued. Go ahead, say it, I was intrigued. So the deal is this. The local theatrical production company is aiming at putting on a regular or semi-regular radio drama. They needed to find a way to work out any kinks in the system prior to attempting that type of undertaking and thought a Prairie Home Companion esque radio show might accomplish that goal. The first taping was last month at the local microbrewery and B2 and I went to see what it was all about. Let me tell you, it was all about a lot of fun. Local musicians, storytellers, and authors got 15 minutes each to do their thing in front of an audience. After the show, the audio was taken back to the studio for editing, cutting the performances into radio friendly time bits. The show that was taped last month airs this month, every Monday at 6:15 PM local time. Of course I forgot to tune in to the first segment to check that out, but that’s what I mean when I say my bits might not even see the airwaves. As far as the artists taped tonight, they’ll air next month.

I’ll keep you all in the loop if and when it airs, although tbh, I’m not even sure if the station has any kind of streaming ability. I’d like to make a crack about how they play both kinds of music (s/o to Jake and Elwood) but I have never tuned in to them, so I should probably keep the snark to a minimum. Kinder, gentler me in action right there.

I knew I wanted to throw in a link to a video related to radio, I never stopped to think how many there were to choose from. Holy crap. REM has a couple, including the aptly named Radio Song but I liked the Costello title better. Side note; damn, REM had some great music videos. Second side note; damn, I wish I had seen them live at some point. Maybe just prior to the height of their powers, while they were still playing smaller venues. Must have been pretty wild. I thought about The Buggles happy little pop hit, made famous by MTV or Queen’s song Radio Gaga but again, probably a misleading title. I’m not actively looking for any more radio-related videos/songs, but if anyone would like to fire off a suggestion for the followup post when and if my stuff airs, well feel free to launch them at me.

Lastly, in addition to the aforementioned videos bouncing between my ears, I’ve also been listening to a playlist I put together a while ago and add to on occasion, called Speeding Ticket. Various songs from Nirvana, Tom Petty, blink-182, The Clash, DBT, among others over the last 40 minutes or so, and it’s been thoroughly delightful. I think I’m going to pack this up now though. I’ve got to go bring out my stuff for tonight (yup, going old school) and read through it a handful of times in an attempt at not looking like a boob tonight. Fingers crossed…

Peace

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Decoration Day

I really had no thought about posting anything today. No real reason, other than a clear lack of cogent thoughts. I know, I know, some (like Ray, for instance) would say that’s never stopped me before. What can I tell you? But then, as I was driving from the coffeehouse to the grocery store, the muse stopped by and deposited a couple things in my head. Since anyplace that doesn’t also sell gasoline along with coffee is now closed for the remainder of today, this is one of the rarer posts created at home.

I noticed today being a holiday didn’t seem to have much of an impact on local lawncare services. I totally get how some businesses remain open without regard to things like holidays, I guess I just never counted Memorial Day as one of those. It seems to me that this day in particular elicits kind of an odd response from the general public as it is. Over time it appears to have devolved from its origins as Decoration Day in the aftermath of the Civil War to where we are today. How many people have you heard say “Happy Memorial Day!” or some similar sentiment? It just seems odd to me that anyone would use that phrase given what today is marking, you know? Almost as odd as thinking that this is the perfect day to buy a mattress, but if you turn your television on today I guarantee you’ll see more mattress commercials than you will remembrances. Today is supposed to be about honoring the war dead. I don’t claim to know the correct way to honor them either. I mean, I have thoughts about that, but I recognize they may be skewed by my personal beliefs and that some would find my ideas offensive. So I won’t be telling you how to observe today, but I would suggest at some point to take a few minutes to recognize that hundreds of thousands of lives have been taken for causes, just and not so just. And perhaps we, as Americans, should strive to be the type of Americans worth fighting for.

Growing up I was never aware of the term Decoration Day btw. The first time I heard it was in the late 70’s. The original ex had two maiden aunts, I guess spinster is the term, although I don’t know if that’s a derogatory term or not. If so, I mean no offense. At any rate, Carrie and Clara were twin sisters and they were about 187 years old when I met them. Not really. But they pretty old nonetheless. Back to the point, they were the ones that referred to the day as Decoration Day. I remember thinking they seemed insistent on calling it that too. Kind of like Chicagoans that insist Willis Tower is still Sears Tower.

I’m going to cut this one short today. I do have other things bouncing around that I’d like to address, but I figure if I’m going to bitch about today, I should keep it about today. So, lastly, today’s background music is the newest album by Manchester Orchestra – The Million Masks of God and man I really dig it. This is one of those albums that, the first time I listened to I thought “yeah, it’s ok I guess.” But the more I listen to it, the more I get into it. Just outstanding. Lastly, lastly, there’s no way I could name this post what I named it without throwing in a link to Decoration Day by Drive By Truckers and eventhough it’s not entirely about honoring war dead, it is ultimately about the feelings toward a generations long feud and the results of it.

Peace.

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Go Fund Someone

I didn’t plan on writing a post today. It’s not that there aren’t things to write about, it’s more that I just wasn’t feeling it. It happens sometimes, you know.

Then, a little bit ago, I took a scroll through social media, and I saw one of those things that just kinda stops you in your tracks.

One of my favorite nurses from Good Sam, Steve, posted something about another of my favorite nurses from Good Sam, Dave, and it included a Go Fund Me link. And my heart skipped a beat. I hate to see bad shit happen to, well, most people (there are exceptions which I’ll not go into), but especially, I hate to see bad shit happen to good people. And, as people go, Dave is so far above and beyond “good” that I’m at a loss for words. As a result, I’m going to keep this one more brief and to the point than I usually do. I’ll copy and paste a little from Steve’s post so you get the gist of what I’m putting out here…

Two, very long days ago, while on an outing with the family, Dave experienced what Google symptom-check experts would call a “medical emergency”. Knowing his tendency to be unique, life opted to bestow him with a non-traumatic, cervical vascular dissection, a bit of a rarity, which resulted in diminished blood flow to his brain, causing a small stroke and leading to his best impression of stroke-like symptoms ever.  Luckily, Sue shook off his ingrained, playin’ it cool ER nurse response of “gimme a minute” and notified EMS, getting him to a stroke center in… Green Bay, WI (their story to tell). Just like fantasy football, can never go wrong playing a Cheesehead.  This was the right play at the right time, providing Dave with the best chance of pulling off the win. Luckily and thankfully, Dave has received great care and is currently in the planning phase of what/how/when to return home to continue his care, but most importantly figuring out how to get the hospital operator to play Strokin’ by Clarence Carter upon his exit. Seriously though, something like a stroke puts a wrench in everyday life.  Dave and fam’s new hobby for a time will be discovery and recovery, replacing work and/or rearranging other routine tasks and priorities. This is where we all come in.Please consider donating funds to help support the Allman Family.   Any amount is appreciated and will help them navigate the challenges in the coming weeks. Your love and support are so appreciated.

There you have it. Here is a link to the Gofundme page set up on behalf of Dave and Sue and their kids.

Just to wrap this up quickly ish, Dave is, without question, on the Mount Rushmore of outstanding nurses I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with and he’s also one of the nicest, funniest people I’ve ever known. So, if you can help, please do so. Love you buddy.

Peace