New Post, Who Dis?

This is, roughly, the third attempt I’ve made at putting up a new post in the last few months. There’s a draft or two sitting here stewing and I think a couple more percolating in the notes app in my phone. Probably none of which will see the light of day. Hell, this one may never either, who knows? I’m still wrestling with where to go with this one. I mean, it’s not like nothing happened since my last post, eight months ago, right? Jesus, eight months. Maybe I should just wait another four weeks so I can draw the parallel between writing this and a pregnancy. Meh, probably not. Still, eight months is a long ass time. And you’d think, especially since I just referenced how much has happened in the last eight months, that I’d have a veritable cornucopia of topics from which to choose, wouldn’t you? Of course you would.

Ok. Instead of sitting here pouring out some more word soup, I think I’ll just take a hitting to all fields approach and fire out some stream of consciousness stuff.

For instance; I’ve calmed down quite a bit from my younger days as it relates to losing my shit over the way other people drive. I think I’ve mentioned it here before, about how when they were younger, the kids used to really enjoy my reactions to traffic as we drove through St. Charles. I am admittedly not the most patient person when I’m driving somewhere. Part of the reason is that I am, in fact, driving somewhere. As in, I have somewhere to be. So when other people drive as if they’re enjoying the scenery and impede my progress, I tend to get a little agitated. I mean, c’mon people, drive like you have an agenda for cryin’ out loud. Also people that drive with no conception of anything around them beyond the confines of their own vehicle tend to get under my skin. So, along that vein, here’s one of the things I’ve noticed about people that drive down here – driving on the highway, a four-lane interstate highway mind you, I tend to click on my cruise control as soon as practical. So, I tend to cruise at a fairly steady rate, traffic allowing. Of course if there’s congestion, bad weather, what have you, that isn’t possible and that’s, like, a given. But under optimal conditions, my cruise is on and typically anywhere from 7-10 mph over the limit (don’t @ me). Now, here’s the lose my mind inducing part. Let’s say, for the sake of clarity, I’m in the left lane. And I’m approaching a slower moving vehicle or three, each of which is in the right lane. All good so far, right? Invariably, as I approach, one of the trailing vehicles will move out to pass the lead, slow moving vehicle. Now, I don’t know about you, gentle reader, but I was taught that when you pass someone, get around them. Not so much down here. I won’t say without fail, but I will say that in the majority of cases the vehicle that pulls out to pass (thereby moving in front of me) will, if not slow down, hold speed with the vehicle they’re attempting to pass.

THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS YOU *DUMBASS M#TH#RF#CK#R!!!

I think I’m actually starting to get used to this happening, I very rarely resort to an all caps comment to the offending vehicle. It’s kind of downgraded to a shaking of my damn head now, which is probably better for my personal mental health. Also, it helps having B² in the car with me, I don’t want her to start making a Plan B thinking she’s going to have to bail on the madman behind the wheel.

So, that’s a thing.

Here, apparently, is another thing. As I was sitting here at the local coffeehouse attempting to reconnect whatever synapses (what’s the plural of synapse? Asking for a friend…) I used to use when I did this more consistently, I have Tragically Hip pulsating through my brain via my headphones. And, I admit, it might be a tad on the loud side. Like maybe this one goes to eleven loud. And Siri, bless its little A.I. heart, just popped up a warning that I’ve probably exceeded my suggested weekly allowance for loud music. Here’s the direct quote

“Based on your headphone usage over the last seven days, you’ve exceeded the recommended limit for audio exposure.”

And, can I just say here, that ship has sailed. 28 years of sirens and air horns blaring overhead; along with I have no clue how many years of listening to loud rock and roll much, much louder than would be considered acceptable and, well, yeah, pretty sure the damage has been done. Oh sure I could probably keep it from getting worse, but really I’ve kinda gotten used to the cicadas that live in my head. At least that’s what it sounds like now.

Ok, I just watched an RV motor by, and that got me thinking about how badly I need one. Pro tip- not much, but that hasn’t stopped me from gazing longingly at them online for the last couple years or so. I’m still in the trying to convince myself phase btw. You know “gee whiz, think how much it would save you in hotel costs, now that the concert industry is cranking back into action.” Or “Gosh, it would make it so much easier to visit different parts of the country this way.” I think this one is my personal favorite “Just think, if you were driving an RV, you could stay off the interstates for the most part, you know, drive through small-town America as you make your way to wherever you’re going. Think how much more relaxing that would be instead of driving like you had somewhere to be.”

And, now that I’ve successfully circled back to where I started this, I think it’s time to wrap it up. Welcome back, those of you that clicked in to this. I make no promises, but I really have missed doing this, and I’d like to get a few more thoughts off my chest…

I guess we’ll find out together, won’t we?

Peace

*I should point out here, for emphasis, the above mentioned phrase is reserved for that special kind of stupid, and its origin comes from the bargaining table as we (3234) worked on a successor contract with the Village. I’ll leave it at that for now, but this might appear in some future piece of literary wonderment.