One of the things I have learned, probably too late in life, but I’ve learned it nevertheless, is how pervasive body-shaming is and how wrong it is. Self reflection also taught me how often I was guilty of it in the past. I made a conscious effort a few years back to stop doing it, and it wasn’t as difficult as I feared it would be. I mean, really, it’s more about being a decent human being than anything, right? That shouldn’t be too hard for any of us.
I wrote that as a segue to this – the title is absolutely, totally, unequivocally, this guy. And, fwiw, I have no problem body shaming myself when necessary. If you know me IRL, maybe even only if you know me from here, you probably know I have an affinity for baked goods. Sweets, in general really, but more specifically pastries and the like. Ice cream has been a big part of my life for a long time too. I can’t help it, I just love the stuff. In the past I’ve always gotten away with eating those types of things with no regard for weight gain due to my metabolism and/or genetics I guess. I’ve been accused, on more than one occasion and by more than one person, that I have the dietary habits of a garbage truck.
Guilty as charged.
But, as I said, in the past it never really affected me. I was able to stay around 195 pounds pretty consistently for a pretty long time. And the time or two where my weight did jump up over 200 pounds I was able to cut back on careless eating habits and get things back under control fairly easily.
Those days are, apparently, behind me. Along with a rather ample rear end. In front of me however, is the prospect of moonlighting as one of Santa’s department store helpers. And I wish I was joking about that. B2 got one of those high techy scales from her parents (her request) for Christmas. I should specify that she wanted it for herself, not because she thought I needed it. She has been nothing but kind about my expanding horizon. I, on the other hand, have become increasingly agitated with myself. Anyway, I started using the scale this past week, not every day, but probably four of the last five days. Much to my dismay, the numbers on the digital display rose like the express elevator in a skyscraper. As it stopped at 215 pounds this morning, I made a decision. I went out to the kitchen and threw out every last one of the delightful little nuggets left.
I’m swearing off sweets/pastries/baked goods/whatever for the foreseeable future.
However long that may be.
This is not an easy thing for me to do, but I’m really left with no choice. It seems I’ve finally reached the point where my body will no longer let me eat like an unsupervised 8 year old. Frankly, I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did. But maybe it makes some sense. I’m roughly the same age now as my Dad was when he retired. As far back as I can recall, Dad weighed around 165 pounds. Until he retired. Then he grew a little bit of a paunch. I guess I’m there. Judging from what I see in the mirror and on the scale, I’m past there. Also, as I’m putting this missive together, I feel like there’s a little bit more redundancy than I’d normally like. Typically, if I catch myself doing that, I’ll either apologize for it, or go back and edit what I’ve written to resolve it. I think I’m ok with it today, I probably need to keep rubbing this mess in my face.
So it’s cold turkey for me. That approach has worked for me in the past, specifically when I’ve quit smoking. Maybe by throwing that stuff in the garbage, I’ll be able to pull this off too. I told B2 this morning that I’m going to get back out and start walking too. Can’t hurt, might help, right? That’s the same reason I decided to post about this, put a little extra pressure on myself by going public.
One last thing before I move on to the musical portion. Don’t expect this to turn in to a regular feature. I don’t plan on doing any kind of an update on this A.) because I don’t think anyone cares so much that they would want to follow along with my “misery” and B.) I feel like this particular topic is pretty boring and I’d much rather write things about stuff I enjoy writing about.
Peace
PS
Here’s today’s musical guest – John Moreland. Again. I really wasn’t going to listen to him today, had other stuff queued up, but when I sat down at the coffeehouse and said hi to the owner/barista she mentioned she hadn’t had a chance to give him a listen yet. The backstory there is; she has a sign in the shop that says “Long Live The Songwriter” so one day I asked her who her favorite songwriter was. She was kind of stumped I guess, cause she answered by asking who mine was. I told her in my case the answer was kind of transient, depending on my mood, etc. but that currently my favorite was John Moreland. She was unfamiliar with him, but wrote his name down and said she’d give him a listen. So, when I walked in this morning, she asked his name again and put him on the house system. So my decision was made for me. I have no complaints.
About anything really.
Other than my waistline.
Again, Peace
You forgot about me. I would love to follow your misery.
I’m not sure if I should laugh with you or curse at you…