So, I’ve been intermittently thinking of a place to use the above “new” abbreviation for a little bit now and I decided this was as good a way to do it as any. I stumbled across it a few weeks ago on social media (one of the few things it’s still good for is finding things that make me laugh) and my first thought was “well, this is probably not a real thing.” because,you know, internet. Followed quickly by “I don’t care, I love it and I’m going to incorporate it into something as often as I can.” which brings me back to this. According to the post; etm is a Latin abbreviation, similar to etc, et al, and the like. It is an abbreviation of et merda which, the internet tells me to believe, means “and shit” as, for example, etc which is the abbreviation of et cetera, translates to “and so forth” and now that I have expanded all of your vocabularies by a little bit I feel like I can move on. I’m nothing if not helpful, right?
To the title, well I’ve been slacking lately on my “WTF is that?!?!” posts. Mainly because the bug life I’ve encountered, while varied, and often new to me, has rarely been alarming. It took me a little longer than I expected to find this particular post due to it being almost four years ago, as well as me stopping to peruse a few old posts because, why not, but I wanted that post in particular because it was one that I knew featured an excellent example of “WTF IS THAT?!?!”
If you haven’t figured out yet that all of that is leading to this, well, I guess you’re new here. But, also, it’s leading to this because the other day I experienced a new and semi frightening example of WTFIT.
There were a couple reasons my foot is as close as it is to that bug… A.) I wanted something in the frame so you could more easily visualize the size of this behemoth bug. I assure you, that picture is not comparable to, say, a typical fishing trip photo. My foot is about four inches away from the bug. I swear to god that damn thing was at least the size of a golf ball. B.) It was dead.
At least I thought it was dead. As I debated where to kick the corpse, the bug’s legs started churning like a colonial era butter maker. I won’t say I’m afraid of bugs, but we have an understanding; stay out of my personal space and I’ll likely let you go about your ugly business. Mostly. In this particular case, I grabbed a brick and dropped it on the bug from a height of about two feet. This seemed to accomplish what I was going for here, namely killing the bug without leaving a huge buggy mess to clean up. I kicked the bug out into the street, about three kicks on what I guessed to be a par 4 down my driveway and put the brick back in the neighbor’s yard where it belonged. I took one last look at the bug and, much to my surprise, it was still moving, efforting desperately in an attempt to right itself. And probably to hunt down the SOB that dropped a brick on it for all I know. A short time later B2 got home from work, and as I watched her back into the driveway, I saw she rolled over the beast. Taking another status check on the monster I must admit I wasn’t totally surprised to see that, while it wasn’t moving, it also didn’t exactly look any worse for the experience. It wasn’t until about an hour later, when I took one last look, that I could tell some passing vehicle had sufficiently flattened it out of existence. Finally satisfied Bug-hemoth (get it? Behemoth/Bug-hemoth?) had gone to its final destination, I went back about my business.
As long as we’re on this topic, here’s another odd bug I don’t ever remember seeing before. Our carport gets a lot of use as an outdoor sitting area. Since I’ve lived there I’ve enjoyed sitting there, for no real reason other than it’s typically protected from the weather. The exception to that rule is in the warmer months of the year when the afternoon/early evening sun beats down mercilessly on our sitting area. When that happens, we move to a little patio just off the carport that is pretty well shaded.
Excuse the morning light/shadows, I’m never going to be confused with PhojoMamaTM as a photographer, but this should at least give you an idea of our little sanctuary. Sitting out there one afternoon, as B2 and I chatted about our day, I noticed what appeared to be a piece of lint on a leaf of one of the potted plants pictured above. When I realized it was moving purposefully across said leaf, I knew it wasn’t lint. I’m pretty perceptive that way apparently. A quick GTS led us to believe it was some kind of mealybug and again I’d like to point out to you that this is a direct violation of bugs staying away from my shit. They are supposedly harmless to people, but they’ve been consuming my plants like, well, me when confronted with a pastry cart filled with lovely baked goods. And I can’t have that. Either, really. The pastry cart and these fluffy little bastards are both on a parallel track with the destination leaving me shaking my head and muttering obscenities. I asked someone at the local nursery what I could do to rid my plants of these pests and she advised me the best way was to take a cotton ball and wipe the leaves down with rubbing alcohol. Look at the picture again. If you think I’ve got the patience to wipe each #@%**$# leaf with rubbing alcohol, well, you’ve apparently never met me before. That ain’t happening. So, instead, I chose what some may see as sadistic (I however refuse to accept sadism as remotely applicable where bugs are involved. Have you even seen Men In Black?) but I have found to be quite effective in removing these pests. A lighter. The extended version typically used to light candles, etc. The bugs are quickly and efficiently immolated with minimal scarring to the leaves of my plants.
Win/win for me. The bugs? Not so much.
I’ll put a bow on this one by noting Manchester Orchestra is bouncing between my ears today. Man I love that band. Whenever I mention MO, I always feel like I should give a hat tip to my friend Tom for pointing me in their direction. What a great call Tom, thanks again and always. I would certainly place them on the medal stand of my current favorites, along with Drive By Truckers and John Moreland. Additionally, all three bands have got new, or at least newish albums out and all three are stellar. I can’t recommend enough that you catch any of these acts should they be touring in your general area. Not sure if I wrote this bit up or not so I apologize if I’m being redundant, but B2 and I caught a John Moreland show this past spring in Saxapahaw and actually ran into him outside the venue chilling out before the show. We talked for maybe twenty minutes. Just an absolutely lovely human being to chat with. Also one of the best songwriters around.
Peace