Tag: Last Days

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Immortality

I just got back yesterday, after a mad dash to Illinois and back.  Diane’s Mom passed away last week and the funeral was Tuesday.  Last minute airfare being what it is *hint- ridiculously expensive* the only choice was to make the drive.  So I left central North Carolina around 5:00 Monday morning and drove to the Greater Elgin area, paid my respects Tuesday to a truly lovely woman, and started making my way back Tuesday afternoon.

I have thoughts and comments about the driving portion of my week thus far, but before I bury the lede and wreak literary havoc upon the drivers sharing the road with me, I need to say a few words about my Mother-In-Law.

If you know any of us either IRL or at least on social media, you’ve probably seen the outpouring of emotions in describing what Laurelle meant to my kids and grandkids.  They all did a wonderful job painting the picture of what she meant to us and I’m not sure I can say anything that hasn’t already been said.  But I’m about to give it a shot.

I used the word “lovely” in the opening paragraph and I meant it.  From the start, Laurelle was exactly that.  She welcomed me, my kids, and grandkids into her family unhesitatingly and I don’t believe the word “step” was in her vocabulary. We were all part of her family and that was that.  And so much more.  She was, quite possibly, the only person that loved poor puns as much as I do and she threw them out with great flair and regularity.  She was not afraid to laugh at her own puns too and that just added to the enjoyment.  She enjoyed teasing, about any number of things, those she cared about and was always gracious on the receiving end when that time came.  She was a large, probably the largest, part of the sense of humor that endeared Diane (and her siblings) to me and even though their eyes weren’t a color match, they shared the same spark of pure joy that was visible from across a crowded room.  I have many fond memories of practical jokes played back and forth between Laurelle and Caitlin.  Like Caitlin hiding in a laundry hamper and jumping out at the last minute to startle her Grandma.  Or a long running gag that involved one of them being called “dumb” and the other being called “stupid”.

But Laurelle was so much more than just a comedienne.  She was, without question, the most devout person I’ve ever met.  Granted, I don’t spend a lot of time hanging around people of great faith, but I’d match her devotion to her faith with anyone, anytime, anywhere.  And while I didn’t share her views on everything, I always respected them, keeping my cynicism and skepticism at bay.  Whenever we met in the time I spent with the pirate and in the time since, she would always tell me she prayed for my happiness.  It always meant a lot to me (still does and always will btw) because I recognized the place it was coming from.  Absolute sincerity.  And the fact that, no matter what may have been going on in her life, she found the time to consider me and my emotional well-being in her private moments with her Maker was not something to be taken casually.

The service was much like any other, in the way that it was a chance to see old friends and family members and it’s an opportunity to be cherished even as we mourn the passing.  I saw one of Diane’s besties, Lorraine, for the first time in many years and she and I shared a couple laughs from the past as we caught up.  I also saw a few nieces and nephews that I hadn’t seen in a while and the changes over the years ranged from multiple (adorable) kids, to venturing out on new careers, to facial hair.  Nephews only on the facial hair part.  Just sayin’

One last thing about this week.  I don’t know if any of you share this, but I feel like it’s probably pretty common, so…

They make me flash back on final services for others I’ve either attended or been a part of.  Also, funerals tend to make me look at my own mortality.  And I spent a lot of time thinking about my own shuffle off this mortal coil.  Oftentimes there are things we know we should do, but for one reason or another, procrastination kicks in and we leave them undone.  Wills, for instance.  I know I should have one… but… yeah… you see… it’s like this… I don’t.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t care what happens to me or my stuff after the fact.  So I sat down at the keyboard the other night and emailed a few thoughts to the progeny (which, btw, sounds so much better than “fruit of my loins” don’t you think?) to try to get some stuff right.  For example, I want to donate not just my organs, but my entire body.  I’m sure I’d make for an interesting trip around the cadaver lab at a medical school somewhere.  “Jesus, how did this guy live THIS long?” or something.  I want my memorial service to be light-hearted.  Or, at least as light-hearted as funerals can be, you know?  Tell stories of stupid shit I did and leave people laughing.  If you’re going to shed tears at my passing, I’d much rather they be tears of laughter.  I don’t know what awaits me (see my faith comments above) but I’m comfortable in the belief that whatever or wherever it may be, I’ve lived a great life.  I’ve experienced more love and joy than I was probably entitled to, so I’ll ask no questions when it’s time and gladly take what I’ve been given.

Nothing profound as I close, rather the familiar.  Love the ones you’re with and live each moment as if it was your last.

One day, for each of us, it will be.

Peace

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The Last Day At the Firehouse

I’m officially unemployed.

Some might say unemployable, but that’s a story for another day.  Or maybe someone else’s blog.  This one is going to be about my last shift at the firehouse, specifically, my last day as firefighter/paramedic for the Village of Downers Grove.  I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never used the name of the Village or the FD here.   I didn’t want to take a chance on bringing down discipline if I shot my mouth off about something that irritated me in the moment, you know?  Don’t get me wrong, it was a great place to spend the last 25 years, but there have been issues from time-to-time.

But that’s not why you’re here.

Today’s post is going to be all sweetness and light.  And pictures.  Lots of pictures.  One of the perks of having a photojournalist in the family.

The day started with two old guys threatening to jump in the shower with me and just. kept. getting. better.  Actually, I lied.  the day started with my spotting an old “friend”.  If you remember this post You’ll recall my aversion to, of all things, a lamp.  So what to my wandering eyes should appear as I entered the day room for my last shift?

This –

Thanks to Red Shift (B or 2nd if you prefer) the lamp will be, for the rest of my days, a reminder of just how much fun life in the firehouse is.  That sucker burned brightly for 24 hours, until I gently unplugged it to take it out to the car for the trip home.  It will have an honored place, in every residence I have for the rest of my days.  To top it off, I walked in to the kitchen to find a couple of Red Shifters working away on biscuits and gravy to get the Festival To Me off on the right foot.  I knew something was up when I walked into the bunkroom to drop off my bag and the lights were all on and you guys were all awake (even Dan for cryin’ out loud) but I had no idea you guys took things to the level you did.  Thanks one and all.

Now, my intention for this post was to set my laptop out and put stuff on here throughout the day as I had a few idle moments.  The flaw in my plan became obvious quickly.

I had no idle moments.  There was a steady stream of visitors from 6:45 or so until after 2:00 yesterday afternoon.  I mean, nonstop.  When I say I was overwhelmed, that’s putting it mildly.  I mean, I figured (hoped) there’d be a nice turnout to bid me farewell, but the sheer volume of well-wishers left me speechless on more than one occasion yesterday.  That’s not an easy task either btw, leaving me speechless.  I saw friends from the Village and from Village Hall, friends from the union, friends from the FD, friends from the world of politics, friends from Good Sam, friends from all over.

Bob and TJ spent 10 hours cooking on Thursday, getting stuff ready for yesterday.  They made a ginormous batch of gumbo, jambalaya and beans and rice to feed all of our guests and it was Phe. Nominol.  It almost made me wish I’d eaten less from the mountain of baked goods that was dropped off in steady supply all day long.  Just a ridiculous amount of food.  Cal baked a carrot cake and a banana cake for me.   My Bonus Kid, Courtney, made RVCB’S! (editorial note, I’ve decided that henceforth RVCB’s shall always be followed by an exclamation point), banana bread and peanut butter cups.  Brief confession, at one point yesterday I was able to identify everything by who brought it.  I can’t do that now.  I apologize if you brought something and I left it and you out.  But Sweet Jesus there was a lot.

Late afternoon the steady stream slowed to a trickle, but some of my favorite nurses (spoiler alert, I have many) came from across the street to see me off.

Jo, Jenny, and Ida, we’ve had so many wonderful moments over the years.  You (almost) always greeted me with a smile, if not a hug, which btw helped to create somewhat of a legend around here so thanks for that, even if it was just to humor the harmless old guy.  Hearts to you and to so many other nurses, techs, secretaries, admissionists(?), and docs that I’ve crossed paths with over the years.  Truly some of the most talented medical peeps I’ve ever known.  And a lot of fun to hang with too.

Before I go any further, I need to give a shout out to one of my all-time favorite people.  Vinnie and his lovely (and incredibly tolerant.  I mean, saint-like) wife Terri stopped by to help see me into retirement.

Those two are on the short-list of people that have had my back in
so many ways over the last 14+ years.  They dropped off food when they knew we couldn’t deal with going to the store, they were just always there whenever I needed them.  To say I love you both somehow feels inadequate, but it’s the truth.  Thanks for everything.

Before I go any further, can I just say (fwiw I’m going to say it anyway) that yesterday and on in to today, social media has been a source of greater joy than probably any time in the ten years or so I’ve been active on it.  The sheer volume of posts made in tribute to me, misguided though they may be, almost literally brought me to tears.  I saw posts from across the country, wishing me well.  You people rock.

Moving on.

Most of the kids and grandkids came by for dinner.  The Quiet Child, Boy Genius, and Reigning Princess couldn’t make it in, because sometimes stuff happens.  The rest of the crew got in to join us for dinner; home made, deep-dish pizza courtesy of Chef Bob and it was just stellar, as always.  Perhaps not surprisingly, meals like that are one of the things I’m really going to miss.  Scenes like this one-

 are irreplaceable.  The camaraderie  brought to a group that eats together, shared time to discuss shared memories, shared tasks, shared goals, successes, and even sometimes, shared failures are at the heart of what we do.  So many of the world’s problems are “solved” at firehouse tables each and every day.

I’ll miss that.

As I get near the end of this, I’ve got a couple more thoughts.  First, to my many firehouse families; I was, am, and always will be proud to have worked with you.  Whether on the streets of our Village, at the bargaining table, the union hall, or at the Legislature of our state or our nation.  We always put the lives, wants, and needs of others before our own.  It’s what we do and a large part of who we are.  Don’t ever stop doing that.

Thanks for many great meals, many great runs, many great conversations, and for letting me be a part of your lives.  You’ve all been a big part of mine.  I’ll cherish our times together, good and bad, I promise I’ll check in when I’m in town.  And you’ve always got a place to stay if you get out by me.  As long as you cook.  Just sayin…

To my IRL family-

Thanks so much for being you.  Each one of you has a larger role than you know in getting me from Point “A” to Point “B” and you’ve all made the trip not only worthwhile, but so much more enjoyable.  I can’t imagine, nor do i want to imagine, where I’d be without you.  It may be from a distance soon, but I can’t wait to watch each of you evolve towards what, and who, you will become.  I couldn’t be more proud of all of you.  I love you.

Even though I could go on a little longer with this, I’m going to leave it with one final picture from yesterday.  I think this kind of sums everything up nicely for me.

Peace.

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“Jake” We Hardly Knew Ye

Since my days here at the DGFD are dwindling down to a precious few (shameless lyric plagiarism alert) I figured I’d better take full advantage while stuff is fresh(ish) in my mind.

We caught two back-to-back this morning, fairly quickly out of the chute.  After we returned to the firehouse, while wandering around the apparatus bay floor mid-project, I noticed a pigeon sitting out behind the station.  In and of itself this is a little out of the ordinary, we don’t seem to have very many pigeons hanging around here.  I’m not sure why, we just don’t.  So I noticed him (truth be told, I didn’t check the gender. Furthermore, I’m not sure how to check even if I had) I also noticed (Hey, pigeon A&P wasn’t part of my paramedic training, so what can I say?) he seemed to be sitting in an awkward position.  I finished my project and decided to walk out and see if there was something wrong with the pigeon.

He let me get fairly close to him, maybe four or five feet away, without any response on his part.  His right wing seemed to be out of whack (medical term).  I figured he got clipped by a car since Highland Avenue was about fifty feet from where he sat and it’s four lanes of people basically ignoring the 35 mph speed limit.  I asked TJ, our resident quinoa expert, if quinoa was a grain.  He said he thought it was.  I knew we didn’t have any bird seed here but I was reasonably sure we had quinoa.  Don’t ask.  Young guys.  Any way, I grabbed a handful and it looked enough like bird seed to satisfy me.  I took it out to the bird and dropped it down in front of him.  As I did, he (the bird, not TJ btw) staggered a couple of feet away.

By this time, TJ and Rob both came out to see what I was doing.  As we talked about the pigeon, TJ asked about the name of the crow from Shawshank Redemption and thus, a firehouse name was born. Jake the pigeon seemed indifferent towards my choice of food for him.  I figured something needed to be done and since we have no pigeon specific protocols to follow, I started making the rounds telephonically to see what could be done.

Take a guess how many phone calls it took to find a pigeon person.  Go ahead, I’ll wait…

If you said seven, you win.

Now, in the time it took me to make these seven phone calls we ran to the Jewels for the days groceries, in fact I made five of the calls while Rob and TJ knocked out the shopping.  As we were paying for our groceries, we caught a call, followed immediately by another.  So by the time we got back to the house maybe 45 minutes had passed.  As we pulled up to the back door I looked for Jake but couldn’t see him.

Until Rob pointed out a small, feathered, lump laying right next to the garage door.  Poor Jake had met his maker.  Of course Rob quickly pointed out that it was probably due to dehydration, since I’d neglected to put any water out for Jake.  Or the possibility that quinoa is not, in fact, bird seed and that it exploded in Jake’s gullet hastening his shuffle off this mortal coil.

Sigh.

Lastly, I just want to give a shout to my first Captain from here.  The doorbell rang this afternoon and in walked Paul.  I haven’t seen him in quite some time and I told him I was honored he stopped by to wish me well.  I meant it too.  He was a good dude to work for and I learned a lot from him in our short time together.  We chatted for a little bit, talked about the old days as well as more recent events and then it was time for him to go.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, the people around here are what will be missed.  Well, most of them.  When I thought about what I was going to do with this today it was going to go off in a completely different direction.  Kind of a “Bob, why do you hate me?” turn.

Until Jake started me off on this track.

Maybe next time.

Peace.