Tag: W5kfC

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Random Acts of Kindness

I know, right? Nothing for months and now two in, like, three days? In all honesty if tomorrow wasn’t Caitlin’s birthday (she’d be 36 tomorrow btw) and, therefore, Random Acts of Kindness (RAoK) Day, I probably wouldn’t have written one this quickly.

But it is (or will be) and so I am.

I think most of you are familiar with the story; Caitlin was killed by a drunk driver when she was 17 years old. It was a week before her high school graduation, three weeks before her 18th birthday. I’ll put some links in for anyone that needs a refresher; here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Jesus, seven links, I’m pretty sure that’s a record for ICRTD. I’ll keep this one intentionally short on the off chance any of you want to go back through some of these. There’s tearjerker or two, so maybe don’t read them at work…

So here’s the deal. All I’m asking for tomorrow is that you do something nice for some random person. Whoever is behind you in queue at the coffeehouse, drive-up or wherever. You can do it anonymously if you like, or you can tell the person that it’s in memory of a pretty amazing young woman, you can do anything you like, just do something. No act is too small, I’m not asking you to drop a hundo for this, if all you do is buy a beverage for somebody, that’s great. Heck just hold the door open for a stranger if that makes you smile, or help them carry groceries to the car. Just do something nice that you might not normally do for someone. If what you do makes your eyes light up, like the ones in these next two pictures, that’s a win. Actually, it might be a good thing for some of us to do on a semi regular basis, or at least more than once a year. But if you can do it tomorrow, please give a thought to Caitlin when you do.

Last thing (I think) that I’ll ask for today, and I’m pretty sure I’ve made the same request before; if you do something tomorrow for RAoK, please mention it, either in the comments here, or through whatever social media led you here.

I’d love to know we can continue to make a difference.

Thanks.

and Peace.

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For An Amazing Young Woman

Today, we should have celebrated Caitlin’s 33rd birthday.  I often wonder, as the Kenny Chesney (that’s right, I like both kinds of music, Country and Western) song says “Who You’d Be Today”.  As I wrote last year on the old site, our family looks to commit Random Acts of Kindness to honor her memory.  That helps with the day, it truly does.  And, of course, it’s always a good idea to be kind, but it just feels like the right way to honor such an amazing young woman, taken from us too soon.

The anger from that time, I think it is safe to say, has finally gone.  It took probably longer than it should have, and I don’t know, maybe not speaking about the events of that day (and the weeks, months, and years that followed it) regularly at Victim Impact Panels has finally allowed it to leave me once and for all.  I don’t know if that’s it, but that’s just the first thing that popped in my head as I realized I didn’t feel the rage (probably too strong a word but whatevs) rising in me.

The old saying goes; time heals all wounds.  But the truth, as Rose Kennedy said is more along these lines “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”  As the matriarch of the Kennedy clan, she knew a thing or two about grieving, so I give her words a lot of weight.  She was right.  

Back to the opening paragraph; I wonder how our lives would be different had Caitlin lived.  I think I’ve mentioned here before, I keep in touch with some of her bff’s and now, fifteen years removed from the crash, they all have their own places in the world, many are married and some have children of their own.  

Would Caitlin?  

Even though Diane had an underlying and undiscovered cardiac issue, would she still be alive today?  I’ve always believed the stress from Caitlin’s death was a key contributing factor to her death.  And that without the loss of her youngest child, she would still be with us.  I think, from time-to-time, of how over the moon Diane would be with all of the grandkids.  How excited she would be (and how vocal, lol) at the Heir To The Throne’s baseball games, how fascinated she would be by the Boy Genius’ science and computer projects,  how she would be enthralled by the former Beatle Baby’s knowledge of all things Skylander, and how absolutely giddy she would be organizing a shopping trip for the Reigning Princess and the Little Diamond.  

I have a feeling I would have had to put off my retirement to bankroll those shopping trips, lol.  And there’s a really good chance I wouldn’t be in central North Carolina now.  My feeling is that she would have vetoed being that far away from the littles.  Although she did love summer and summer here is so much more, uhhh, summer-y.  

This week (this month, actually) tends to bring up thoughts such as these.  In addition to it being Caitlin’s birthday today, my Dad’s would have been the 6th, and the Oldest One’s is tomorrow.  And the 12th is the anniversary of Diane and I getting married.  So, yeah, my mind tends to wander in this direction this week more than any other.  And doing something along the lines of a RAoK helps me to keep my emotional shit together.

So, here’s my suggestion.  Actually I guess it’s more of a request.  Go out today and commit a Random Act of Kindness.  If you choose to do it anonymously, that’s cool.  If you choose to explain that you’re doing it in the memory of an amazing young woman, that’s cool too.  But if you do it, please come back here and leave a note, either on the social media that brought you here or in the comments section below, and let everyone know what you did and if you had any interaction with the recipient, what was their response.  i.e. last year, I pre-payed for a bunch of people at the coffeehouse I used to frequent.  One of the regulars, a man I’d often seen but never spoken to, got a free coffee.  The barista told him why and pointed me out, so he came over to thank me and to ask about Caitlin.  It was a pretty cool moment.

Also, if you’re so inclined, please feel free to share this however you like.  The world, imho, can always use a little more kindness, and maybe by spreading the word, more good things will happen.  It’s worth a shot.

Lastly, I leave you with this.  These two happy mugs.  Another example of pre-cellphone camera selfie to put a little smile on your face.  I’ll always remember the joy they shared, and that which they spread.  Like I said last time; love the ones you’re with and live each moment as if it were your last.  Now go be kind to someone, please.

Peace

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Wendy The Walker

What do say when you’re discussing a legend?  And I’m not even joking.  Around the firehouse (specifically in the high-rise district, but her fame has spread) everyone knows who Wendy the Walker is.  Most of the town does too, at least that part of town that exists along and/or near Main Street.

So how does one become legendary?  Let me tell you…

I don’t remember exactly when the first time was that I met her.  But I remember I was working on another shift; trade or overtime I don’t recall, but I remember I was working with a guy that lives in town.  And I walked out on to the bay floor this particular day and saw Dick standing in the back of the station, talking to a woman.  This was not uncommon, btw, Dick was almost as much of a “chick magnet” as the Great Vincenzo.  Almost.  At any rate, I walked back to see who she was.  I’m pretty sure she was introduced as “Wendy the Walker” since everyone knows her as the woman that walks four miles down Main Street every. single. day.

Thus began a friendship that I value as highly as any I’ve ever had.

Flash forward a couple years.  I remember coming back to work after Diane died.  I had been off for a month, thanks to the efforts of a bunch of guys I worked with back then, and Wendy stopped to chat when she saw me.  I think she asked where I had been since she hadn’t seen me in so long.  And, since Wendy is the kind of person that is truly interested in people, I told her the whole story of Diane’s passing.  She listened intently the whole time and from the look on her face, I knew she heard, and felt, every word I told her.

Now, often times, people will tell you “call me if you need anything” and, it’s not that they don’t mean it; many, if not most, do.  But for some it’s just platitudes and you learn to take those words with a grain of salt.  That’s never the case with this woman.  She said, knowing about our Walk 5k for Caitlin, and knowing how much work Diane did for it, “I’ll handle the publicity for the walk”

And she did.  For the remainder of the time we did W5kfC, Wendy handled it.  She wrote more articles and got them in more publications than I ever imagined possible.  And that was just the start.  Every hare-brained scheme I came up with over the years, she was all in on.  Without question.  And, also without question and, as if I ever had a choice, she became my Jewish mother.  Which worked out well since she’s, you know, Jewish.  And a mother.

She’s had a profound impact on so many of the things I do (i.e. anytime you see a “PS” on here, it’s an homage to Wendy) but not just me.  Pretty much everyone that works or has worked at good ol’ #3 has become part of Wendy’s personal domain.  And if they’re no longer there I’ll hear from her “how is my Mike?” or “how is my Rob?”  She is our chocolate fairy as evidenced by the many random deliveries from her, of something made in large part from the seed of the cacao.  Even “Bagel Saturday” a long standing tradition from a few years back included chocolate bagels.

Wendy knows many of our birthdays and makes a special trip to drop off something because “birthdays are a big deal.”  And, while that may not be a direct quote, I feel it’s close enough to deserve the quotation marks.

Which brings me to today.

Wendy, my very dear friend, you have meant so much to me, and to so many of the guys at “your” fire station, I wish there was some way to let you know just how much I cherish our friendship.  Even though you continue to try and talk me out of moving south.  You mean the world to me and I promise I’ll always keep in touch with you.  And yes, I realize that putting that in here kind of locks me in to it.  And yes, I realize that you will remind me (not so subtly) should I falter in the frequency of our chats.  You win.  Besides, I’m kinda scared of you. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

So, while I know you’re celebrating with your favorite cellist and this all but assures happiness, I’m still going to wish you the happiest of birthdays on this very special day and I hope the rest of your birthday week (because birthdays are a big deal) is every bit as awesome as I know today is.

Happy 29th!!!

It is 29th, right?

Peace

Gi #m L